Not yet not yet
Cold old and thoughtful
My son has turned 16. Pulling his
legs I call him, hey, sweet sixteen or sometimes I start singing in my hoarse
voice, ‘I am sixteen, going on seventeen….’ And always he smiles embarrassed,
‘Oh, you are incorrigible.’ He is a thinking type of person with a ready smile.
But this evening he seemed a little away. His face was a shade longer than
usual. There was a trifle delay in his answers to innocuous routine questions.
I thought to myself, this man has turned a bit cold.
Like most men of my age, I do not
readily find occasions that would make me especially happy. Routine day follows
another routine day. A list of jobs to be done now, then or never is constantly
updated at the back of the mind. A tussle goes on continuously between the
drabness, worries, bits of joys and rare exhilaration. Age slows you down. The
flames of the candles which lighted up all around only a few years ago,
extinguish one by one. My mind could feel the approaching darkness. Old? Not
yet, not yet.
I was thinking on this issue
before going to sleep. I have all the rights to turn cold, a little distant and
thoughtful. Do I not have the age on my side? But this man of 16? How can he
turn cold so early? I felt a little worried. What’s up? A budding love affair
that I am not aware of? Some problem in school?
Next morning the situation
remained unchanged. The same withdrawn look hung on his face. I tried a few
questions. Same brief answers. Inexorably time passed and we got ready for
going out to our respective workplaces. He to his school and I to my office. As
he was on his way out, my eyes fell on him. Ah, what is this? He had a book
open in his hands reading while he walked towards the door. Then I remembered—today would be his Biology class
test. He told me the day before yesterday and I forgot totally. I must be
getting old!
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