Freedom

If only I could fly free…

Liberation or freedom? What is the difference? Which word should I be after?

Struggle went with freedom, women went with liberation. And so, I chose liberation first. Soon my head filled to the brim with all the liberating efforts and movements from the dawn of civilization…who knows perhaps from before the dawn.

Men suppressed women in all spheres of activity and relationships. Through ages. Women have to bear the children and make the home. All serious matters of the world are for the men to deliberate upon. Women thinkers? Not usual. Women leaders? A rarity. Even if some come up, the power brokers remain to be of the male kind. During childhood, a female belongs to her father, growing up she progresses to be the property of her husband and in advanced age she is under the care of her son. In between she bears the children with all its associated hassles, transforms the house to a home and satisfies the needs of all in the family.

Oh, we have heard these so many millions of times. Still, even in this century of knowledge and liberation, the world belongs largely to the male kind, and will seemingly remain so for all time to come.

Logic told me so.

I accepted the situation. With no further queries. Then one fine morning a philosopher told me the story of “What women really want?” The story of King Arthur and Noble Lancelot. How Lancelot saved his king by agreeing to marry the hideous witch who gave this classic answer—women really want to be in charge of their lives. In the story, as soon as the answer became public, everybody knew that this IS the right answer. I also felt so and was quite impressed. So that’s what women want! And rightly so, because they need liberation so badly. Why didn’t I see it before!

As I asked the question to many women I knew partly and partially (you can never know a woman fully just as you can never catch a butterfly), mixed answers started coming out. One young woman was simply emphatic, “Yes this is what women want.” Then she added, “But they never get the full freedom from their beloved. It is not possible.”

I asked myself, what is full freedom? Do we, the males, have it? As soon as the thought came, I felt tied up hand and foot, all over, by all bonds around.

A second woman, married, in profession and in prime of her life said again quite emphatically, “Oh I want so many things.”

I understood. All through her life she worked beside her male colleagues, worked like them, earned like them and apparently was in charge of her life. She couldn’t really appreciate the value of freedom. So she wanted many other things. Just like all of us. Not really sure. What do we really want?

A third lady, in profession but single, suffered the pains of loneliness. Who will look after me when I get sick? —she thought constantly. A lone life sometimes binds a person to oneself painfully.

I looked up to the sky. An eagle floated effortlessly against the blue canvas—so free! I felt a pang of envy—if only I could fly like it—free in the vast sky. The day was ending. Sun already set. The eagle I could see no longer. It must have come down to its nest.

The moon appeared. It outshone the countless stars while it went round the earth slowly.

I felt myself pinned down to my mother earth. By the force of gravity. All things are affected by this ubiquitous force. I knew. I can never be free. A voice inside my head told me, what about the strong nuclear forces that hold the protons and neutrons of your body together, what about the electromagnetic force that makes the electrons go round the nucleus and makes the atom and then the molecules? What about the forces we do not know yet?

My whole being, and all else are held together by infinite unseen forces.

I now knew the enormity of the role of bindings.

A part of me still asked silently, “how can I be free?”